ni a la de tres

Meanings:

1.
SpainLatin Americacolloquialinformal
- Not even at the count of three; literally, unable to hit, guess, or do something even when given three counts or three quick tries.
2.
SpainLatin Americacolloquialinformal
- Figuratively, used to express inability, incompetence, or that something will not happen despite multiple attempts; equivalent to 'not at all' or 'no way.'

ES: Yo no acierto ni a la de tres.
EN: I couldn't shoot my way out of a chicken coop.
ES: Son ganaderos, como el Sr. Dutcher, que no acierta ni a la de tres.
EN: They're cattlemen, like Mr. Dutcher. He couldn't shoot his way out of a chicken coop.
ES: A mí la pena que me da es que no se la voy a poder devolver, porque le he dicho lo de la boda, pero esta... Esta no se casa ni a la de tres.
EN: I feel bad because I'll never be able get my revenge, because I mentioned getting married, but that will never happen to her.
ES: Tiene que ver con tu acosadora del campamento que no se va ni a la de tres.
EN: This has everything to do with your summer camp stalker who won't go away.
ES: Este cabronazo no lo pilla ni a la de tres.
EN: This bastard doesn't really get it.